Notice: Since the end of the world may occur tomorrow, you might want to hold off starting this project until Saturday, if there is a Saturday. If there is no Saturday, it’s been nice knowing you.

Do you remember those big old heat registers at Grandma’s house? They were vertical against the wall and the grate was often ornate. When the furnace kicked in the rush of hot air was almost as pleasurable as sitting next to a wood-burning stove. Somewhere along the way the heating people decided that Grandma’s register wasn’t good enough and these low, long registers that look like passenger cars on a sleek train started showing up in new construction, probably beginning in the late 1950’s. Here’s how to save on heating bills, and enjoying some of that old-fashioned hot air.

Two-bit Guru | How to Save on Heating Bills | Photo of a heat register, floor and curtains.

The sleek modern registers didn’t throw the heat the way Grandma’s did. They have little slots all over them, constructed so that the heat is deflected up between the drapes and the window rather than out into the room. The volume of heat that does come through the little slots is a lot less than it could be.

Two-bit Guru | How to Save on Heating Bills | Close up of the vents in a heat register.

The several foot lengths of the sleek registers give the impression of a substantial heat source but if you take the registers off what you find is the same kind of duct that fed the hot air to Grandma’s grate, air which now diffuses lazily along the modern register and oozes into the room when it’s good and ready.

Two-bit Guru | How to Save on Heating Bills | Photo of an open heat duct in the floor.

I’m not particularly enamored with aesthetics when it comes to appropriately warm air in the wintertime, so I removed the registers and made my own deflectors out of upcycled pizza boxes. Now when the furnace kicks in I get a refreshing blast of warm air rolling across the room and warming my feet.

Two-bit Guru | How to Save on Heating Bills | Photo of an open heating duct. Air is deflected into the room with a piece of a pizza box.

If you have an extra room that doesn’t need to be heated you can reduce expenses by removing the sleek pretentious register and blocking off the duct.

Two-bit Guru | How to Save on Heating Bills | Photo of an open heating duct in the floor.

Cut another piece of the pizza box to cover the duct. I cut the pizza box longer than necessary and didn’t bother to trim it.

Two-bit Guru | How to Save on Heating Bills | Photo of a heating duct in the floor that has been closed off with a piece of a pizza box.

Hold it in place with a weight, such as the piece of ceramic tile shown here, or use a brick. There’s more air pressure than you’d realize once you try to block of the air flow.

Two-bit Guru | How to Save on Heating Bills | Photo of a heating duct in the floor that has been closed off with a piece of a pizza box held in place by a piece of ceramic tile.

Some registers have shut-off flaps that actually work, but many of them leak too much air.